Act II: Enter The Manatee
First, talk to Elaine. Then, do as she suggests and visit the Voodoo Lady. Pull on that Finger and summon the enigmatic mistress. Talk to her about the Ultimate Insult, then ask what the Marley heirlooms have to do with it. She'll use her power to summon something old, something new, something borrowed...but the something blue isn't in the chest. Interesting.
Leave the International House of Voodoo and head up to Meathook's. Once there, talk to him. Ask him about the candles and he'll eventually show you his old paintbrushes. Stop talking to him when you've heard enough, then grab a Paintbrush and leave. Now head to the Docks. Look at the change return slot on the Grog machine, then grab the coin and use it with the machine. It won't give you the Grog right away so you need to kick, punch, shake, and yell at the machine until it spits out a plethora of Grog. Excellent. Now head to the SCUMM...
What?! The LUA Bar? Ah, bloody hell. At any rate, enter and seat yourself at one of the stools by the conveyor belt thingy. Call the waitress over and ask for some food, then order whatever's cooked. After she leaves, break out the paintbrush and be ready to jamb it into the belt. Wait until the flaming boat moves down the belt and is almost under the painting, then jamb the brush in. You get up as the cook rushes out of the kitchen, and when you regain control, go into the aforementioned kitchen. Use your can of Grog with the steam generator, and you've got something blue.
Now you need to go back to the Docks and go to your ship. You now need to use the heirlooms with the figure head, and listen to the dialog in between. First, use the Earrings, then the Necklace, then the Pen on a Chain, and finally the Map That Was A Painting. Elaine shows up for some quick dialog, then Guybrush and his crew set sail.
Assemble The Ultimate Insult
Obtain the Golden Man
Right off the bat, head to the overview and head to the Cliffdiving area. Talk to the diver and find out that he is the champion, Marco de Pollo. Talk to him about the Ultimate Insult to find out that the diving trophy is a Golden Man. End that conversation and head to the left to talk to the diving judges. Pester them into certifying you, and they eventually do. Afterwards, go back and challenge Marco to a diving competition. After he accepts, Guybrush changes and heads up to the diving plank. No matter what you do here you can't win, so just walk until Guybrush automatically dives.
Those are some lousy scores. You need to talk to each judge to find out what you are doing wrong. I'll take you through each one before moving on to the next one.
Grouchy Judge:
He is being paid by Ozzie to keep Marco in the winner's seat. What we need is some good old fashioned black-mail. Head to Stan's and grab one of the brochures. Talk to him if you want, but you need to have Guybrush look at the pamphlet. He notices that the Grouchy Judge is standing with a blond lady, who is quite definitely not his wife. Head back to the Cliffdiving area and show the incriminating evidence to the judge. His 10 is yours!
Wise Old Judge:
He tells you that you need to make a smaller splash. The only way to do that is to get a stream-lined head. So, head back to Town and head to the docks. Use the community rowboat by your ship to sail out to the Knuttin Atoll. On the way, you're stopped by Admiral Cassaba. Just talk to him, then move on. Once you dock at the Pirate Shanty Town, head to the white building in the upper right area. This is the Pirate Transmogrification Center. Talk to Miss Rivers (the lady on the porch) and tell her that you want to reform. You now get treated to an amusing sequence when you and two other pirates are re-edunacated. Choose the most gruesome and violent responses to the questions, and you fail miserably. The Dunce Cap that you get will enable you to produce smaller splashes.
Hippie Judge:
He tells you that you need to match Marco Pollo's moves. They are:
Keelhaul: Up
Rum Barrel: Down
Alpha Monkey: Left
Spinning Swordsman: Right
All you need to do is duplicate what Pollo does, as per the announcement as he dives, and you get a 10 from that judge.
Before you dive, though, head to Town. Find and enter the StarbuccaneersTM store. On far end of the counter is a tray of mini-bagels. Pick one up and eat it. Guybrush is disgusted with the Shmear-whiz and spits it back out. Now, head back to Pollo and use that partially eaten bagel with the Baby Seal Oil on the table. Now, challenge Marco to dive!
Remember what moves he uses. Once Guybrush gets to the top, put on the Dunce Cap. Now slowly walk until Guybrush takes over and begins to run. Now enter in the Move combo and the victory will be yours. Well, almost. It's a tie, so on to the tie-breaker! You dive first, and you can pick whatever combo you want. When Marco dives, the seagulls will be attracted to the Smear-whiz in the oil and he'll lose. The Golden Man is yours!
Obtain the Silver Monkey Head
The monkey head is actually the Monkey Mug from the Planet Threepwood restaurant. To get it, you need a meal ticket. There are actually 2 ways to get said ticket.
Method 1:
Head to Stan's Time Share and pick up the glue. For those of you who can't see it, it's on a tiny ledge on the front of the building. Take the glue back to Town and enter the Micro-Groggery. Use the glue with the Strange Contraption, then talk to the Bartender. Ask about the weird machine, and you find out that it's a Manatee. Take the Manatee Challenge and you win, since you're glued to the seat. You get a Meal Ticket as your prize!
Method 2:
Head to the StarbuccaneersTM and look in the window from outside. Guybrush spots an empty cup. Now walk inside and pick up that very cup from the window. Hand it to the Clerk to get a free refill of Groggacino. Now go to Stan's. Drink the highly caffeinated beverage, then have Stan give you his full sales pitch. As a reward for listening, you get a Meal Ticket.
Now, before you head into Planet Threepwood, you need to go back to Starbuccaneers. Enter, and look inside the bag that belongs to the tourist lady. Grab the mug that's inside of it and then leave. If you haven't grabbed the glue yet, do so. Now, onto Planet Threepwood. You can talk to Murray if you want (and why wouldn't you?), but head inside. Read the menu on the board near the door, then find and talk to the waitress. Tell her that you're ready to order, and pick whatever entrees and drinks you want. Tell her that you're paying with the Meal Ticket and you get seated and are given the mug. Stay in your seat and talk to the Jolly Pirate that's walking around, then ask him for a charicature. Pick which ever responses you deem the funniest, and collect the drawing. Use the glue on the drawing, and use that on the Plastic Monkey Mug. Use the fake mug on the real one, then leave.
Obtain the Bronze Hat
While you're in Town, walk to the big statue in the middle of it. Look at it, then talk to the tourist. Ask him about the Ultimate Insult and ask what happened to Tiny's hat. He doesn't know, but I do. First, you need to go to the Micro-Groggery and ask for some Grog. You don't have any ID, so you'll have to settle for some Grog Jr. Head to The Atoll of Knuttin and walk up to the puppet theater. Talk to the LeChuck puppet, who claims that he's Hellbeard. Keep talking until you ask him where he's been for 80 years, and you get to talk to the Guybrush puppet. Ask him if you can talk to the puppeteer. After a bit, he'll agree. Talk to him briefly if you wish, but exit the conversation when you can. He should still be up. Pull out the Ultimate Insult drawing and show it to him. He runs off, and you get to keep the Puppets.
Now go to the Transmogrification Center and pull the Fire Alarm outside. After Miss Rivers runs out, you need to run inside. Quickly go to the chest, then find and pick up the Whistle. After you get kicked out, head all the way to the right and you enter a new area. After one of the pirates leaves, a cannonball is fired from Cassaba. Talk to the Metabolically Challenged Pirate, who turns out to be Jumbeux LaFeet. Talk to him about his Tiny (who happens to be his dad), the two parrots (and why they're special), and where the hat is. Now, head to the right and encounter a vast boulder covered beach. Use the whistle, and the two parrots show up.
Break out the Grog Jr. and give it to one of the parrots. Now, ask one of them a question (Such as 2+2) and listen for the answer. This will help you determine which is the one that always tells the truth. For instance, if the drunk parrot answers "4", then the drunk one will always tell the truth. Once you confirm his identity, talk to the truth parrot and ask him where you should go to find Tiny's hat. He'll point you in a direction (north, south, east, or west), and you should go there. Once on the new screen, use the whistle and repeat the previous step. Keep going until "where should I go" gains the response of "Waaaark. Nowhere."
Guybrush then deduces that Tiny's hat must be under "this rock." Use the two puppets then, and Casaba will blow up the rock for you. You now have the Bronze Hat!
