Insults
First, the regular insults:
- Insult: My handkerchief will wipe up your blood
- Witty Comeback: So you got that job as janitor, after all.
- Insult: Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!
- Witty Comeback: First you'd better stop waving it like a feather-duster.
- Insult: I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.
- Witty Comeback: He must have taught everything you know.
- Insult: This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
- Witty Comeback: And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?
- Insult: Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will!
- Witty Comeback: You run THAT fast?
- Insult: People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
- Witty Comeback: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
- Insult: You make me want to puke.
- Witty Comeback: You make me think somebody already did.
- Insult: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
- Witty Comeback: I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.
- Insult: I've spoken with apes more polite than you.
- Witty Comeback: I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
- Insult: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? Witty Comeback: Why, did you want to borrow one?
- Insult: You have the manners of a beggar. Witty Comeback: I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.
- Insult: There are no words for how disgusting you are. Witty Comeback: Yes there are. You just never learned them.
- Insult: You're no match for my brains, you poor fool. Witty Comeback: I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.
- Insult: I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down!
- Witty Comeback: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?
- Insult: I've heard you were a contemptible sneak.
- Witty Comeback: Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.
- Insult: You fight like a dairy farmer.
- Witty Comeback: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
Next, the Sword Master Insults:
- Swordmaster: My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!
- Witty Comeback: So you got that job as janitor, after all.
- Swordmaster: My tongue is sharper than any sword!
- Witty Comeback: First you'd better stop waving it like a feather-duster.
- Swordmaster: Only once I have met such a coward!
- Witty Comeback: He must have taught everything you know.
- Swordmaster: I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today.
- Witty Comeback: And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?
- Swordmaster: No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do.
- Witty Comeback: You run THAT fast?
- Swordmaster: My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me!
- Witty Comeback: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
- Swordmaster: If your brother is like you, better to marry a pig.
- Witty Comeback: You make me think somebody already did.
- Swordmaster: My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood.
- Witty Comeback: I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.
- Swordmaster: Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.
- Witty Comeback: I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
- Swordmaster: I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.
- Witty Comeback: Why, did you want to borrow one?
- Swordmaster: Every word you say to me is stupid.
- Witty Comeback: I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.
- Swordmaster: There are no clever moves that can help you now.
- Witty Comeback: Yes there are. You just never learned them.
- Swordmaster: I've got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!
- Witty Comeback: I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.
- Swordmaster: You are a pain in the backside, sir!
- Witty Comeback: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?
- Swordmaster: My sword is famous all over the Caribbean!
- Witty Comeback: Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.
- Swordmaster: I will milk every drop of blood from your body!
- Witty Comeback: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
- Swordmaster: I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors.
- Witty Comeback: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
