The Insults
First, the regular pirates:
- Insult: Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!
- Witty Retort: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
- Insult: You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
- Witty Retort: I look THAT much like your fiancée?
- Insult: Would you like to be buried or cremated?
- Witty Retort: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
- Insult: Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
- Witty Retort: The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
- Insult: I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet.
- Witty Retort: When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
- Insult: Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
- Witty Retort: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
- Insult: En garde! Touché!
- Witty Retort: Oh, that is so cliché!
- Insult: Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated!
- Witty Retort: Too bad they're all fabricated.
- Insult: When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
- Witty Retort: At least mine can be identified.
- Insult: You can't match my witty repartee.
- Witty Retort: I could, if you would use some breath spray.
- Insult: I can't rest until you've been exterminated!
- Witty Retort: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
- Insult: You're the ugliest monster ever created.
- Witty Retort: If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
- Insult: I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated.
- Witty Retort: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
- Insult: Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
- Witty Retort: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
- Insult: I'll hound you night and day!
- Witty Retort: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
- Insult: I have never seen such clumsy swordplay!
- Witty Retort: You would have, but you were always running away.
Now, Capt. Rottingham:
- Rottingham: Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!
- Witty Retort: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
- Rottingham: When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied!
- Witty Retort: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
- Rottingham: Your lips look as they belong on the catch of the day!
- Witty Retort: When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
- Rottingham: You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!
- Witty Retort: At least mine can be identified.
- Rottingham: Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
- Witty Retort: If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
- Rottingham: My attacks have left entire islands depopulated!
- Witty Retort: With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
- Rottingham: You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
- Witty Retort: I look THAT much like your fiancée?
- Rottingham: My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
- Witty Retort: Too bad they're all fabricated.
- Rottingham: You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey!
- Witty Retort: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
- Rottingham: I can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated.
- Witty Retort: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
- Rottingham: I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated!
- Witty Retort: With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
- Rottingham: Nothing can stop me from blowing you away!
- Witty Retort: I could, if you would use some breath spray.
- Rottingham: I have never lost a mêlée!
- Witty Retort: You would have, but you were always running away.
- Rottingham: Never before have I faced someone so sissified.
- Witty Retort: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
- Rottingham: Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide!
- Witty Retort:The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
- Rottingham: Your mother wears a toupee!
- Witty Retort: Oh, that is so cliché!
